Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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