how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize