Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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