Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
