hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Operation Purity has been aborted
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Alive.
So much puke
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
