pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
