o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
