I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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