Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
