Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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