so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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