omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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