Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i dont even know how to be here
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
