I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
