He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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