I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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