operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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