I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
