dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
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Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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