If that was your dad, he is hot
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The uberlube is also flammable
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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