It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
