Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
