I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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