dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
