She announced her abortion via fbk
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
