ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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