Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How external is "for external use only"?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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