All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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