Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
