The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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