just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
