My brain says no but my pants say off.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
