Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize