no, he came in my armpit
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
