I've blown a few things in my day
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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