If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
