If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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