im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
