a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
