Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i dont even know how to be here
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize