is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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