is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
