ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
