his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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