It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.