The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.