if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Congratulations! We have a period
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