did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
