party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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