fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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