he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
