Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ladies don't puke and tell
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
