If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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