i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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