hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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