It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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