I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
